Home Sweet Home

I don't know if I have ever found myself to be so completely "at home" so soon after a move. I have moved a lot, I have moved long distances, I have changed roommates, towns, floors, time zones. I have moved so many times, it would take me awhile to count every room I have ever called MINE. Most of the time it takes awhile to feel at home, to wake up in the middle of the night and know where I am...but not this time. This move, this house, this town, this room - it all feels like I have been here forever. I feel cozy, I feel safe, I feel blessed, content, happy and for the first time in two years, I feel like I am home.

There is a song by Mercy Me, called Homesick. It talks about being homesick for our eternal homes, and part of me wonders if the unsettled feeling I have had for quite some time was not just my earthly yearning to be settled but my spritual yearning to be as close to my eternal home as I can get, from here. Does that make sense?

You see, in the last 3 1/2 months, as my life changed in more ways than I thought possible (in such a short amount of time); I questioned what God was doing, in my quiet moments. However, as I talked to people I kept repeating, "God has a plan". I am not sure I believed it though. I kept saying it, hoping that I would start to believe it. Every day something different would happen and I would find myself saying, like a broken record, "I just wish..." I wish I belonged to a church like I did in Boise, I wish I had never left Boise, I wish time would slow down, I wish time would speed up, I wish I knew why this was happening, I wish Jake had a higher paying job, I wish Jake had a job, I wish .......(fill in the blank). Wow, what a lot of wasted breath.

Interesting enough, my wishing wasn't going to change anything, it wasn't going to hurt, or help, it was just wasting my energy. Or maybe God heard my wishes and though my hear wasn't as prayerful as it should have been, He lovingly took it for what it was and heard them all as prayers and began working on my heart.

I don't know that I really understand why I am where I am but I do understand this - God wants Jake, Keri, Anna and Bo Lyon HERE, in Tulsa, OK. I don't know why but I am totally open to it. He has revealed to me VERY plainly that this is where we are to be. I have seen SCREAMING signs of pure GOD stuff. Little things like finding Dr.'s we like, to a nice place to buy groceries (after a year of loathing the fact that the only place to shop was WalMart), having more visitors in two weeks than we had in a whole year in AR., I actually have VISIONS of Anna having friends over here - I have peace. Then this morning, we tried a new church. It wasn't a church anyone recommended but one that we mistakenly found, just drove by it, noticed it was a non-denominational Christian church...they take communion every Sunday (a huge thing with Jake that is not easily found these days) and so, after our last Church talk being more of a complaint session on being SICK of searching (it has been since we left Boise that we have belonged to a church) - we walked in, sat down, listened, prayed, met the pastor, walked out, looked at each other and both said, "WHEW" "We love it!".
Now, if that isn't GOD I don't know what is.

I have so many thoughts screaming through my brain and if anyone is still reading this, I would be SHOCKED. I am not writing to be read though, not this time. I am writing to have an account of the way I feel at this moment. The incredible feeling of peace and security that I have knowing that God is GOD, that he knows our yesterdays, todays and tomorrows. He knows exactly when we need things, how we need them, where we need to be. I can't say that I won't ever DOUBT him again. I am human...
I can say that I finally feel like I am looking forward. I am not sitting around wondering what I am supposed to do, or why I am here. I am not looking back saying "I wish I was there". I don't feel the need to talk about what was the last three months - I merely feel the need to talk about the future, to think about what our house will look like when it snows, what our small group will be like at church, if Anna will like her new school...how exciting! To just be looking forward, and to be EXCITED about life. I can't say I remember the last time I felt this way.

Whew, so I guess you can say I am Homesick, but in a positive way -looking forward in anticipation for how great our eternal home will be, certainly if my earthly home can feel this good, my forever home is going to be AMAZING. I will get there, I know. And right now, I will enjoy the ride here.

I am thankful for more things than could possibl fit in on one screen.
But I will wrap this up with 10, in no particular order

1. Isaac Nathaniel Coffin coming into this world almost 1 week ago
I can't wait to meet him.
2. The Dean trio coming for a visit. It did wonders for my spirits. If there was only one reason for my time in AR it is no doubt that it was to find Amy
3. Praying with Anna tonight and hearing her say "thank Jesus for you Wilson". Translated - Thank you Jesus for my dog, Wilson
4. A clean garage with two cars inside of it and no boxes
5. Quiet conversations with my mom, when we really have nothing to say but "talk" anyway
6. Hearing that my gma is going river rafting...imagine it for just a moment, you will probably smile
7. A quick visit from the inlaws, they drove just to see us for a few hours, or shall I say to see the kids - either way it was nice.
8. a cozy family room
9. dinner at home, around our dinner table with our family
10. Our new church, like finding a college, like finding a mate - not that these are in any way the same - but with all, you hear the phrase "you will just know", well, we just know - we are HOME.