Friday

Last night we spent some quality time huddled in our hallway, praying that a tornado would not touch down anywhere around us. God held us close and we are all safe, not even a broken limb to report. That was my first "hideout" from a tornado, interesting feeling - totally at the mercy of the skies above you, or shall I say totally at the mercy of God's hand? Hmmm, second time in a week I have been told/shown/reminded that I am soooo not even close to being in control of this thing called life. By this morning I relented and said, "I am glad I don't HAVE to be in control, b/c it is far too much to think about." And with that, I am humbly on my knees, waiting for doors to open, doors to close and a pathway to be shown to me.

I am tired today, I have done a lot of job searching, resume posting, more phone talking and finally a nap. I have two friends I need to call back, some laundry to do and other tasks that might make me feel normal, but for some reason I keep putting off. Sarah and Emily, please forgive me for the time it has taken me to return your phone calls...

I get lost in my thoughts, excited about changes I will make the next time around, sadness at what I know we could have done different, exhaustion at the craziness of yet another LIFE defining moment. Today, I found myself glad I had a place to post...a place to converse with myself and get all this OFF my chest.

The weather outside is beautiful, I somewhat jokingly have said to Anna today that it would be a nice day to have a baby brother joing the family. So far, he hasn't agreed. I told my friend Kristen that I never thought I would see BIRTH as a vacation, but right now I do. It will be a few days where I can mentally check out from all this rubbish, relish in the joy of life and not have to answer, figure out, make plans or worry about anything. Did I mention just the feeling of JOY? Yeah, I am anxious to have that too. There are moments of great celebration in the midst of great pain, or so I have been told. No doubt this will be one of them.

So, today I can tell you my head is up, I am okay with the fact that some jobs we applied for are in Tulsa and in Boise, as well as Fort Smith. If God wants us to move AGAIN, we will, if he wants us here, yeah - either way I am open to just following him. That really is so much easier than trying to decide ourselves. Is it bad that we have limited him to only 3 geographic locations? Maybe in a month if nothing happens we can tell him he can send us wherever... :0) There are over 16 of Jake's resumes sitting in cyber recrutier land, or on people's desks and that is encouraging, people ARE hiring. We are surrounded by friends who love us, support us and will do anything to see us through and that alone makes me smile. In some way, monetary or otherwise, I hope we can pay it forward or back (however you chose to look at it).

And so it goes, have a great weekend.

1. The card from Sarah F. today in the mail - wow, you have no idea how much I loved it.

2. The close to $90 sale for MK that came in, unexpectedly - God is good

3. Burgers tonight at the Sr. Lyon house, I am looking forward to it

4. The ability to be able to type what is in my head an heart, it all needs to come out so bad, and typing is neater than writing. heehe

5. The peace God has given me for today (at least) that I feel relaxed in knowing he will take us where he wants and if less than a year in Ft. Smith is all that he wanted us to do, then so be it. I may not understand, but he brought us here and with the same faith I will let him take us away if that is what is to be

6. The safety last night, sirens blaring and twenty minutes of "hairy situation" as Jake says...and we are all fine

7. Sun shiny skies today, no severe storms in the forecast

8. A quiet afternoon to take a nap

9. My Bible

10. A place to rest, in God's arms...when we are weary